“Love is Messy”  This was a message from a sermon that  pretty much summed up my 2017.  To a recovering perfectionist (that’s me btw), it’s  a really hard thought to swallow. I’ve always wanted the fairytale life as I saw it. For me that was graduating college, marrying prince charming and having two perfectly clean kids a boy and a girl. The next steps involved living happily ever after and being in love every day for the rest of my life.

For some people that actually happens. However, some of us would settle for having that on social media. For me, nothing happened according to plan. I got married to a man with flaws who made me realize I had lots of flaws as well (shocking), had four amazing little girls ( clean is optional of most days), and finished college, well, 11 years later. Then came the hard work of loving all these flawed imperfect people God had placed in my life. It was and still is messy. There are many days I’ve felt like quitting it all; the husband, the kids, and starting a runaway mom safe haven or something…. ( if you’re interested we can still make this happen). However, I realized love is perfected in the messiness, in the opportunity to sacrifice, and to place others above yourself.

The greatest example of love there is received lash after lash blows of pain and anguish beyond compare and humiliation. It was messy. Yet Christ in His infinite love for me suffered the cross.  In perspective, I suffer laundry (which never goes away), a sink full of dishes, late nights with homework, the messiness of sharing a space with another human and the list goes on. What is also unending are the rewards of growing as a person, receiving innumerable kisses, and hugs and knowing that even in my messiness I am loved by my amazing tribe. 2017 you have been a humbling learning experience. While I have made no list of resolutions for 2018, I do look forward to embracing all of the challenges and triumphs that it will inevitably bring.