Top 5 Postpartum Hacks…Sort of

So was browsing through one of my favorite magazines and saw a list of genius survival hacks after baby. It was titled let’s get real. As I read through it, I could not relate to a single thing these moms were listing. The list included binge watching friends, reading on a kindle, and  working in the veggie garden! My mouth gaped opened. I immediately started looking for the hack to their hacks. Whose reality was this and how could I make it mine. 

Here’s my hack, there are none! sorry . However here are someways I coped. 1) Make peace with your natural scent. I did. The one that comes about after 3 days with no shower…(don’t judge me…You can but idc). I had to know that reading a book for leisure was thing of the distant past.

2 Call a friend. A real friend. The kind that won’t judge you as they step over a pile of used diapers. The kind that won’t mind the funk but will hold your baby so you can take a nice long 10-minute shower

3) Order take out. It’s fine the family will survive. If it makes you feel better get one of those pizza with the vegetable and add pineapple on it. That way you hit all the major food groups. Thanks to Grub Hub and a host of other food delivery service you don’t have to leave your house.

4) exercise, when you’re ready. Feed your baby and find a Zumba. If Dad’s around dump the baby. Dress up in your favorite yoga pants then run out the door. Take at least a 5- minute walk and breathe. Tell yourself (even if you’re lying) that it’ll be ok! Look through old pictures and remind yourself that you used to be human. Then go home, hold your baby (whether crying or smiling), and marvel at the tiny wonder they are.

5)Find the joy even in this crazy stage. Someday you’ll get sleep. It maybe sooner or four years from now. But when you do, it’ll be glorious! Just know you’re not alone. There are lots of other moms on this journey with you and they get it! It will get better look at me all showered and out of sweats. Pretending to live the carefree life.

When someday arrives….

P.S Jesus gets it too. Though you may be short on time. Just know he’s there and it’s totally okay to pray while sitting on the toilet.

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