It’s Mother’s Day and I’m supposed to be celebrating. Yet I don’t feel like it. I thought about writing a blog about all I’ve learned as mom, but truth be told I don’t think it’ll help you. Why? Because everyone experiences motherhood in a totally different way. For example I have friends who thought the idea of a human taking up residence in their body and making their abdominals double in normal size was just beautiful. Not so for me.
I know that doesn’t sound motherly, but I just wanted them out. All that to say your experience will be your own. Whether beautiful humorous annoying or all the above. What I will share is the sadness of not experiencing that. The anguish of knowing that a potential life within you never happened. For some people Mother’s Day is a reminder of a day they can’t celebrate.
A reminder of what could have been. With a history of miscarriage this Mother’s Day I am a lot more appreciative of the title of mom. However it does not diminish the pain I feel of losing a child I never knew. I’m somewhere in the middle of gratefulness and guilt feeling like I have no right to be sad. Yet I am all the same. For those of you who never got the chance to see their babies and watch them grow I want you to know you are a mother. Take comfort in knowing that your Heavenly Father knows what it’s like to lose a child as well and He and only him can bring you comfort. Happy Mother’s Day.