HERE
These days the idea of staying seems to be a mockery of my present circumstances. It really seems like Life is going nowhere fast. I’ve found myself contemplating how the phrase “I’m in my thirties” came to be. Don’t get me wrong I’ve wanted to be thirty for a long time. Thirty to me was the golden age. The age of accomplishment. The age of finally living out dreams that were dreamt in mind of an adolescent me. I feel like I’ve toiled the soil and planted the seeds and watered…and no growing. At least that’s how I feel. I see no leaves, no fruit, no flowers just dirt.
However in this place of peace I realized that there’s so much more going on under the dirt. Processes that are tedious and long but necessary in order to bloom. The rolling hills of San Miguel at Mighty Oaks reminds me that God is here in the Hills and valleys of my life. He is present in what I believe is stagnation. Yet it really is a testing of my Faith. Here overlooking these Hills I realize that sometimes “Faith lies in my willingness to stay a difficult course”. Not sure if any of you struggle with staying and waiting but if you do please feel free to share below.
You are a beautiful soul and it shows in your writing! I have felt the very same struggles at different times in my life. Right now life is so full of change, but I’m not sure exactly how everything fits together. I’ve been in continuous prayer for direction. My husband retired, I’ve closed my business,we are selling our home and moving to a new area! Never before have I felt so happy for change, but also so lost. I know God is directing my life, but I’m in this weird limbo of nothingness…no real purpose! So I do I understand what you are saying and I’m fifty…so what does it all mean?
Send hugs and support,
Chris “Kitchen Mom”
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Oh Chris thank you so much. You have touched so many in such a meaningful way. Your comments means so much and touched my heart. Thank you.
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